Haven't posted in ages

I haven't posted in ages. I just don't really have a lot to post about I guess.

I quit doing 30 Day Shred. My ankle just couldn't handle it and I couldn't get into it. I've passed it on to someone else, hopefully they will like it.

I did get a Biggest Loser Yoga for Weight Loss dvd which I really like. It makes me sweat an unbelievable amount. I also dug out my Biggest Loser workout dvd, so I will be watching that to see if it is something I can do.

I'm down to 179. I was down to 177 but jumped up 3 pounds. It was my fault since I stopped logging my food for a week.

I am going to try and post at least every other day. It might not be much more than what exercise I've done and what I've eaten but hopefully it will help keep me motivated.

Day 2

I did day two of the 30 day shred dvd. Some parts were a little easier than yesterday and some harder. The push ups today about killed me. All the jumping around is starting to irritate my ankle. I sprained it a few years ago and it has never been the same. I'm going to see if I can find my good brace but I think I left at the ex-boyfriends house. I will have to use my not as good one.
I do think that I'm going to have to do each level for more than 10 days though.

This, That, and The Other

This is going to be kind of a hodge podge of topics tonight. Just somethings I've been thinking about the last couple of days.

The first thing is deprivation. On the message board I go to people will post about how they want a piece of chocolate or some kind of treat, then 98% of the replies are about how they shouldn't eat it. It's bad for you, you'll regret it, it will lead to massive weight gain. Okay, the last one might not actually have been said but it might as well been. I don't understand why people think it is a good idea to totally deprive themselves of things they like. True it isn't a good idea to eat a king size snickers, but one of the snickers minis or fun size ones? Why not if it's only every once in awhile? Why can't someone have an ice cream sandwich if they fit it into their calories? Sure it would be healthier if they ate fruit, but sometimes you just crave somethings. I know for a fact that there is no way I am going to cut out chocolate or ice cream for the rest of my life, so I figure out how to fit it in. There will be days when I want a chili dog with cheese and onions on it for dinner and I will more than likely eat it. I won't eat it every day, or every week, or even every month, but I know at some point I'm going to eat it. I will just work on making the healthiest chili dog I can. Homemade turkey chili, whole wheat buns, low fat/fat free cheese. I want to be healthy but I don't want to feel like I have to totally deprive myself to do it.

The next thing I have been thinking about it calorie cycling. Now most of the things I have seen have been for when you hit a plateau. However, I am wondering if you can use it so you don't ever hit a plateau. I like the idea of being able to eat more on some days. It is something I'll have to look into more before I make any decisions though.

The last thing is I hate Jillian Michaels. I got her 30 Day Shred dvd. I did it tonight. I use that last statement loosely. I did do it but I had to do all the modified versions and towards the end I couldn't finish all the exercises. I guess that you are supposed to do it 30 days in a row. I have no idea how I'm going to do it tomorrow. I'm sore now. lol!

I haven't posted anything lately. I could come up with a good reason why if I tried, but the truth is I just haven't felt like it.

I haven't weighed myself lately. I'm not too worried about it since my clothes are still getting looser. I might do it tomorrow morning just to see what it says.
I got my 30 Day Shred dvd, it is still sitting on the counter. I keep telling myself it is because it says you should use a yoga mat and I don't have one. The truth is I just don't feel like doing it. I know most people have great results with it, but I just don't have the desire to do it. I know one reason is that Jillian Michaels annoys me. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea to buy it in the first place.

I got into a disagreement with my boyfriend the other day. I don't want to call it a fight because it wasn't that. It was more of a "why are you being such a butthead" conversation. He's quitting smoking and grouchy so I am trying to be understanding. However something he said made me more aware of why he's been not as supportive as I would like. During our conversation he told me that his opinion of me doesn't matter to me. I asked why he said that and he said if it did matter I wouldn't have ever lost weight. I told him that I didn't do it for him. I did it for me. I did it because I was miserable with how I looked and hurt all the time. He said that he hurts all the time too. I know that is true. I don't imagine many people that have broken their backs don't hurt. I then asked him if there was a way, besides medication, for him to not hurt wouldn't he want to do it. He agreed that he would but then came up with the statement of "You are losing weight and are hotter than before, and you are even more out of my league now." So I do think that his reluctance to my weight loss is from his own self doubt. We talked a little after that and I assured him I have no desire to find someone else, that I love him and I will no matter what I weigh. After that we talked about all the pluses that have come with my weight loss and he agreed that it has been a good thing.

So all in all not much has been going on here in the weight loss category. I am going to try and do the Jillian Michaels dvd, if I can't bring myself to do that I will at least do my Walk Away the Pounds videos.

Just a quick post tonight.
I walked 3 miles today and an average speed of 4 miles per hour. I almost died but I made it to the end. I bought Jillian Michaels 30 day shred dvd from Amazon. Seriously reconsidering this purchase and it hasn't even got here yet. I heard it is extremely hard, and that is from people in way better condition than me.

On the positive side. I lost 3.3 pounds when I weighed this morning. :)

Will try and do a better post sometime this week. Been really busy studying.

I had a pretty bad weekend, not exercise and eating wise. Just every other way. I took these pics to send to a friend today. They made my day a little better.
Sorry about the picture quality, my phone does not do well in my bathroom. It was after I worked out too so please excuse my hair. lol
I still have quite a way to go but it is nice to actually see the progress.

Cupcakes and Why Are You Fat?

   I will say that I'm not fat because of cupcakes. I'm sure they helped, but trust me, I'm not blaming the cupcakes. lol! 


   I found this recipe on one of the message boards I visit. I was told it has been around the diet world for years. However, I haven't so it's new to me. I thought it might be new to you also.

Take one box of cake mix and one can of diet soda, any flavor cake and any flavor soda. Mix them together and bake as the box directs. Don't add anything else to it! 
  I wanted to try this so I used what I found in the cupboard. An old box of white cake mix and I had a diet grapefruit soda in the fridge. They came out pretty good. The box said 1/12th of the mix was equal to 180 calories. Since the soda had no calories and I split the mix into 12 cupcakes they are 180 calories each. Other people replying to the message said that if you make it in a cake to poke holes in it when it is done and pour dissolved Jello over it. I know you can find the actual instructions for that if you search Jello poke cake. They also suggested fat free Cool Whip as frosting. I love cool whip so I may have to try that some time. 

Now on to the other part. Someone on this same message board asked the question "Why are you fat?" They explained that growing up a female relative would tell her she was fat when she was only about 120 pounds, so she got into diet pills, not eating, exercising, and binging.
So I thought about why I am fat and my answer was I choose to be. Growing up my dad told me constantly that I was fat. I wore a size large as a senior in high school, and they were big. I married someone that was exactly the same, and when I got divorced I dated people exactly the same until I met my boyfriend now. The fact that these people were the way they were didn't help. It made me depressed and have low self esteem, but I'm the one that chose to eat, to over eat, and to not exercise. I'm sure there will be people that disagree with me and that is fine. This is only my opinion on my situation. So my answer to this question is I chose to be fat. Now I'm choosing not to be.

I have a collar bone!

  I know a lot of you will understand my excitement with this and not go "Duh Shalon, we all do!" 
  I have not seen my collar bone in, probably, 15 or so years. This has given me more motivation than fitting into size 16 pants did. I can't believe how much a collar bone can inspire me! It doesn't show when I am just standing there, but if I move my arm you can see it.
Excuse my hair. I need to get it cut badly!

I know these aren't good pics. For some reason my phone doesn't do well in my bathroom. These were taken the other day. It is nice that you can see the weight loss. My belly is a lot smaller. So are my boobs though. :( lol!

My workout space

  I thought I would show you guys my workout space. 

  As you can see there isn't much room. I can't really use the living room because of sleep schedules of other people that live here. I was able to do an old Walk Away the Pounds video I had in that space though.  Oh, the pillow is where the dog sleeps. lol!


  As I mentioned I was able to do a video. I did one mile but I think that tomorrow I will try the two mile as the one mile didn't seem like much of a challenge. I also did some arm exercises with my little dinky 2 pound weights. After 2 sets of 15 reps I could really feel it though. 


  On a totally different subject I was texting with my boyfriend early. He asked me what I was doing. I told him that I was online looking to find out how much I have to weigh to get my BMI out of the obese category and into the overweight category. His reply to me was "Wish you could get over the weight thing"  I read it and a couple tears escaped. He's never been overweight a day in his life and doesn't get it. He thinks I'm attractive the way I am and is afraid that I'm going to get really skinny, which he doesn't find attractive. I don't want to be super skinny. I was to be healthy and able to go on a hike without feeling like I'm dying 5 minutes into it. 
  So now I feel like I can't talk to him about any of it. He's supposed to be the person that is the most supportive and I feel like I can't talk to him about this now.  The other friends that I hang out with don't really get it either. I was over at one of their houses today and they asked me if I wanted to go to McDonald's.  I'm not going to give up though.

How Do You Know If It's Right?

   I don't have a membership to a gym, I can't see a personal trainer. I simply can't afford it.  What I have are some old workout videos, the internet, and some 2 pound hand weights. Not much, but I know it is possible to lose weight and get fit using those. However when I see so many other people using fancy new gadgets it makes me a little jealous. I get it in my mind that those things are going to make it easier for them to lose. Maybe it will, maybe it won't,  but since I don't have them I'll have to just suck it up and go with what I do have. 
   
   Now to the reason I actually sat down to write this post:
     If you are like me and doing this on your own how do you know that you are doing the exercises right? 
Take this one for example: The Plank 
   How do I know that am doing it right? How can I be sure that what I am feeling is actually because it is using muscles I haven't used in years and not because I'm doing it wrong? 

Thank You's and Before & During Pics

   I want to start off saying thank you to everyone that came to my blog. Those that left messages, followed me, and even those that didn't do either of those. It is nice to know that people at least looked at it. :) 


   Now, on to the pictures. I don't have any after pictures since I haven't reached my goal yet. So right now I have before and during pictures. 


   I have looked through my pics and hate all of them, especially the ones from a year ago. I was tempted to not post any but then thought that isn't fair. It isn't fair to the people that come here looking for someone they can relate to. It isn't fair if I hold back something simply because I don't like the way I look in it. 


   While going through the pictures I couldn't believe how big I had gotten. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was fat. It was impossible to not know, I just didn't realize it was as bad as it was. So..here is a before pic, taken Christmas 2009. Not sure my exact weight but it was close to 250. 

   This would be sometime mid July 2010, right after I started dating my boyfriend. I'm not sure about my exact weight. I'm going to guys somewhere between 200-215 but am not positive.  Sorry my eyes were closed in the last pic..that seemed to be the theme that day. lol! 

   These are some of the more recent pictures I have, from a month or two. I was between 190 and 196 in these. New pictures wouldn't be much different since I'm only down to 188 right now. I kind of stalled over Christmas and this month.  

   First I'd like to thank anyone that has ventured over this way to read my blog. As you can see I'm just starting out. I'm hoping that it will help me be more accountable. I have kind of lost motivation and am trying to get it back. 
   January of last year I weighed a little over 250 pounds. I'm 5'2" so that is quite a bit. When I weighed about a week ago I was 188. Right now my goal is 160, and when I reach there I will see if I feel it needs to be lower. I know according to charts I should be between 115 and 130 pounds. I don't see that ever happening. I wasn't that small when I was a freshman in high school and played soccer. 
   Over the next few days I will fill in my profile and add some before pictures. Hope you will come back. :)